how in the world did this happen

It's day three of school, Thing 1 is in third grade and Thing 2 is in first, both boys managed quite successfully to get on the bus to come home yesterday. Yes this was a big day for mom and children. I have been driving the things for years now, it stems from my inability to control the driving situation. And this morning the husband put them on the bus, let me tell you 6:45am is way too early to get up and comprehend the world.

And while its day three and I am trying to sit on my swine flu worries, yes, I admit I am dramatic and worried - it happens - I am actually enjoying MY first day home and alone. And I am bored beyond belief right now!!! WTF?!

what a good mommy

I have decided that I would never to be able to work in a daycare or a a school or as a teacher or anything to do with children other than my own...or my family. I just can't do it. At least when I yell at family I don't feel as if I am doing a bad thing, they are family.

And I think the clock is moving backwards while I wait for the insane fighting between a girl and two boys to stop.

I'll take boys any day of the week. She got dropped off at 7:30am. My littlest was still sleeping, well of course he woke up. She started laughing this hyenna like laugh and my youngest says, "you have a big mouth."

He really was speaking the truth but I told him to be nice anyway.

bothered

My mother is a different person...and she doesn't answer her phone unless she's at school.

It bothers me.

a tiny corner in the big bad world

Sometimes I forget the things that are right in front of me and I wonder if its easier that way.

There days where I wish I had a million readers on here and could shout out bits of wisdom as quickly as my children can gather their burps and do the ABCs. And then I wake up and realize that I am glad I don't have a million readers, I think my number stands at 10...but I bet maybe two of you actually read. This is my place.

I thought for so long that I was done with the blogging world but this is my little space.

blech

My brother made detective...I am happy for him, I am...

but after 10 months of job searching I have nothing.

too loudly

The clock ticks softly, or maybe its the soft whirr of fan blades or thesubtle nuances of the television -

its almost midnight and the house is dark, finally after a full day of company. Sometimes you really can see enough of someone.

I am feeling suffocated by hurt lately, family members that were once so close are now distant and unable to look at me. I just want to know what I did wrong.

Night always speaks too loudly.