all in moderation

I am not quite sure I have it in me to be this wonderfully expressive blogger, in fact I look at the computer and mocks me. Taunts me in its own lovely little flickering icon way. But I try, maybe I try more in my head then on paper but these things happen.

There is much ado in my life right now, income taxes have come in and the skies once again opened and reigned down upon me all there goodness. Of course, income taxes have always gone, so the goodness wasn’t as well established as one would like.

Since “coming into money” like we do once a year, I schedule the gauntlet of doctors’ visits, being that we have no insurance and all these tests and whatnot cost a fortune. Turns out my B12 was low, which led to…well, a low level. I have started taking B12 supplements and in three days I really do feel the difference, amazing what a day makes…let alone three. Witty, I know.

Also the husband is pushing me into looking for a new house. It is the time to buy one has said many, many, many, many times. Yes, I am fully aware now is an optimal time but I am chickenshit, just let me get a job first and then take it from there – but alas, we have talked to a mortgage broker and are letting the wheels spin.

The children, the lovely, lovely children are now at each other’s throats – constantly! I would like to think this is a phase they are going through and will outgrow it but I have to be honest, if I tell them to knock it off one more time…

See, these are all the mundane normal things that happen in life. It doesn’t make me any different than anyone else. But I suppose some days it’s just nice to let it all hang out.

welcome to the world of neurosis

So I am neurotic, I think I have said that before on here - WebMd and all those other sites are the antichrist I think.

I was in the ER on Monday, then had to go to the doctor on Wednesday as a follow up. I had noticed a bump on my head MONTHS ago, doesn't hurt, didn't bother me but figured while I was there I would ask about it. Bad idea. CT scan was done Friday. She said she thought it was bone, it was hard like bone but she couldn't be sure because I didn't know how long it was there.

Yeah, WebMd not good. I have a physical on the 1st and hopefully will hear then because right now I am sitting here with major stress on my shoulders. My upper back is tight and achy and my shoulders, down my neck...its stress and asthma and the like but damn, I am neurotic.

Course its also monetary issuses as well. Friday we should be getting the income tax back, I am keeping my fingers crossed because we are behind just slightly...and that doesn't help the tension I got going on.

Welcome to my world of neurosis.

a wheezing body hurts

The weather has changed again, while it is not the cold that literally hurts me, it is warmer...but the change of weather hurts me too. My asthma likes steady temps, hot and humid actually work where cold and dry do not. My upper back is a mass of knots from the wheezing and I feel as if I have run a marathon. It will get better, but I hate feeling like this.

It gives me NO ambition.

Today is 8 years of marriage. I love him dearly and cannot imagine my life without him. Of course if you want to be technical we have been together for 16 years now...or almost, somewhere in that vicinity. It amazes me. Love really is spectacular, hard days and all.

hello sun gods

A fresh start. 2010 ends up wtih me in the ER because of the asthma. Since when was Florida supposed to have freezing temperatures?! And temps that only reach a high of 54 during the day, I did not sign up for this.

I have no idea how the hell I lived in the snow. It boogles the mind. So here I sit surrounded by mostly folded clothes, wheezing and coughing and generally tired from the breathing struggles. They put me on steroids and neb treatments and all those lovely things, makes my heart race on occasion but at least now I can walk across the house without having to have my inhaler.

Now sun gods, can we please have warmer temps again. Thank you.

tired of the season already?!

I keep saying that I am going to write here more and what, I write one entry and then disappear again for awhile. I guess I am just tired of it. This really is my venting post though - there are not that many of you out there - I know, I am just not that exciting.

Its the life I lead.

But its the season now for family and drama and this year, I pledge to stay out of it and simmer via internet words. Its easier that way. And of course now that life as we know it has changed for the family (being that my mother married) I really refuse to get involved.

Say no, and go, and tell. Hell, no, not telling anything. Staying so far away from the telling that I can laugh and bitch and moan without anyone hearing anything! Yay.

And I need an applause, my Christmas shopping is done. Yes, I said it done. Woo hoo. Course I am beyond broke, but those things just don't matter. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself. Some days it works, others not so much. I do need to wrap and what not and I do need to do that in the next week and a half before the oldest has his surgery and will be bed bound for two weeks!

Such is life I suppose. I have a family member that right now is irritating the shit out of me. I guess its a battle of wills or something, but I am a bitch, I know that and I refuse to back the hell down.

to be a fly, or something like that

The holidays seem to come swooping down like these wonderous birds of prey...and I wish they would just take them away. Sometimes. But this weekend we took out all the Christmas stuff and just today, the tree. I had pondered long and hard about a real tree - but let's be realistic. It was 85 degrees out today and its only the 22nd of November, that poor tree would die from dehydration regardless the amount of water I fed it.

Went to the movies a week or so ago, my kiddos came with and we saw 2012. Usually we love disaster movies, this one was like all the rest - some people live, most die but the world more or less collapses upon itself. Well my nine year old freaked a bit. He knows the year 2012 is three years away and he was panicking. My cousin who is 19 tells him that he can quote scientific proof that everything will be okay...

yeah, that really doesn't work for a 9 year old but thanks for trying.

Now, we just don't mention the movie. And its not one that I would want to buy anyway, it really is just like all the rest of them.

We have a "roommate" so to speak. My adopted mother. Her son was a fucktard and told her more or less, fuck off and she had no where to go. This is the genius who got AMAZINGLY lucky that his sexual battery charges were dropped, but who's girlfriend stayed with him and is now pregnant. This is also the guy who's wife left him for a 63 year old or some kind of nonsense just three months ago or so...and the girlfriend is 7 weeks pregnant or so.

Fast mover, yeah?

So anyway, we have a roommate. She will only stay (at the most) until her income tax comes sometime in Mid-January. Once it does she will be able to afford the first month's rent and security and electric hook up. I have no problem with her being here but it does cramp the walking around in the middle of the night nekkid style that the hubby and I do have.

with quiet comes drama

I just don't write that much anymore, it seems the days are the same...

and yet, there is always drama. Apparently this weekend my neighbor (literally right next door) got arrested for sexual battery!!

I think its time to move.

Now I have to watch my kids even more closely than I already do...and trust me they are already watched like a hawk.

I am neurotic, I admit that but this is the wellfare of me and mine.

Oh and the TV died today and of course it has to be a big screen in the living, hello charge card how do I love thee.